Thoughts on the Bipolar Brain

Taking time mid-tour to do two of my favorite things: stitching up old clothes, and thinking about the bipolar brain.

In particular, I’ve been thinking a lot about bipolar meds and feeling grateful for them once again.

Here’s something I’m finally learning after a lot of experimentation with various drugs and various doses:

For me it actually matters that I take them super regularly. I mean SUPER regularly. Like every morning at the same time (for me 8am) and every afternoon at the same time (for me, noon). I’ve now had nearly two weeks without any depression or hypomania. (I know it sounds crazy that that is a long stretch for me, but it is.) And I know it may all change tomorrow, but I attribute this stable period to finally committing to taking my pills consistently, at the same time each day, as well as continuing to prioritize regular sleep.

Maybe taking your pills regularly should be obvious to people, but it wasn’t to me. And as a touring mama with a bipolar brain, following a routine is not exactly my strong suit, so taking meds regularly wasn’t really happening before.

But after so many months of feeling like they weren’t working, I am hoping this little tweak will continue to make a difference.

Final notes: a mother whose daughter is struggling with a bipolar brain came up to me at a show this weekend and asked for advice on medications. Here it is:

Yes, keep trying.
Yes, it can take years.
Yes, it feels like you’re a guinea pig.
Yes, it feels like the docs don’t know what they’re talking about. (Some of them do though!)
Yes, it’s worth it.
It’s worth it.
It’s worth it.